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First of all, let me tell you what this movie is not. This movie is not going to be a movie which you will remember forever in a positive way. This movie will defy everything what your school taught you about science. This movie is everything what SRK did not advertise about on every page on the internet. The movie is total bullshit. I cannot understand how the story writer planned to convince the audience with this plot. The plot, apart from having the numerous loopholes that every Bollywood movie has now a days, has also successfully made a joke out of science and advancements in technology.

Lets get a brief idea of what the movie depicts a superhero to be. A guy with a fake 6 pack, wearing one of the metallic blue/red tight suits designed by Manish Malhotra which sparks out electricity every time a speck of dust touches it, and off course, the “very original” heart a.k.a the core of the suit which shines out the brightest light in the universe. Bull Shit. Every part of the movie has been “inspired” from a Hollywood flick and trust me, the word ‘inspired’ is such an understatement.

Lets get to the story. Shekhar Subramaniam (Our very own, SRK) is a game developer (yes..) who struggles to earn some respect and love from his very own son Prateek (Armaan Varma), by trying to act ubercool. The only thing Prateek gets happiness out off is by twiddling away with his joystick playing video games. So, daddy, using artificial intelligence ( and shit that even science musn’t have heard of ) makes a game where the villain is bad ass and indestructible and names him Ra-One (Random Access – Version One. So creative, no?). Since every story should have a good guy, there enters G.One (short for The Good One. Again, see the creativity?). There are a bunch of rules as to when Ra.One can kill G.one and blah blah. The game is a hit, but has only one problem. The code is so good apparently, that the character Ra.One learns stuff by itself and is determined to kill Lucifer, Prateek’s game alias who once defeated him in a fight. The rest of the movie is about how Ra.One and G.One meet and engage in all those useless fight sequences.

The movie has about two or three comic scenes that are worthy of a smile. And off course the inevitable joke which involve a woman’s breasts. SRK plays a very unconvincing role of a tamilian. Every time he tries to say “aiyyo” or “ingeva”, it reminds you he is everything but tamilian. Even Tams don’t use those words so much or say it that way. Coming to the “science” part, when did data packets start  transforming themselves to form actual metallic bodies? Apparently, the intelligent agents in that code can do everything including breathing life into robots, but still got stuck up at a point where it can’t get over the fact that a 12-year-old kid, kicked it up its ass.

The performances as such don’t really matter. Kareena Kapoor looks gorgeous but plays a dumb role. Arjun Rampal looks like he just came out of gladrags. And by this time, SRK should have known that No.one eats noodles and curd mixed with their hand. Not even South Indians. And the Rajnikanth cameo is just as useless as the movie. Nothing happens at all. Shahana Goswami has been sidelined totally. In the end, no one notices the performances at all. It’s just the VFX talking.

Coming to the VFX part, Bollywood might not have seen such graphics in any of its movies. Although, some of them are pretty good, they don’t really appeal to you in any way, because you have already seen the same effect in some Hollywood flick. The VFX is a waste of money, because most of it is senseless. Some of the VFX are done just for the sake of it. Cars fly up in the air for no reason. They fly above the cars. Again, for no reason. CST station is destroyed, some Mumbai mall is destroyed, all for no reason. Effects are good, but nothing new, nothing you have not seen. The ending fight sequence is so boring, you might end up leaving the movie hall. It was nothing but show off of unnecessary and unwanted slow motion effects.

Overall, this movie is just a big waste. May be it will be a big hit. May be it will be the movie to make the biggest collections ever. But it’s just because people want to see how bad the movie is. This movie is such a shameless and bad rip off of all the science fiction movies ever made. Not at all worth watching it in a movie theater. Not worth watching it in 3D either. The 3D is just bad. All you end up with is a headache. Terminator, Iron Man, Tron, Superman, Spiderman, The Matrix and the list is endless. Even brilliantly filmed scenes from these movies have not been spared.

In the end, this is just another movie. Only overhyped and highly publicised. Not worth it. Stupid, Imbecile and moronic. You don’t have anything to do at home. Still, do not watch this movie.

My rating – 2/10


– JinXed